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Chris p. 10- The
End at the Beginning
When I left for the market earlier that day, my son was living in
Paraguay working for the Peace Corps. By the time I returned home to
put the groceries away, he’d become an alcoholic headed for
rehab. So what happened between the produce aisle and my driveway?
Toren p. 21- My Drink
Even more disturbing are the terrible physical reactions, depending on
the amount of alcohol I consumed and my eventual detox. This is the big
problem. During detox, inside the unsettled body, a nervous and
sometimes nauseous sense begins…an anxiety and almost a fear,
like being too alone. You see yourself and everything differently. Like
a sudden collapse of the stock market in your brain and every single
nerve ending throughout your body wants to turn inside out and puke out
some unidentifiable pain or itch. You sweat, and you sweat increasingly
when you let unreasonable thoughts trick you into feeling like whatever
you are thinking must be true, like for example, “this is
normal,” “this will never end,” “I deserve
this,” or “hhhhmm…maybe another drink will solve the
problem.”
Chris
p. 79- Put on Your Beer Goggles and Don’t Ask Why
Binge drinking looks fun and blurs the reality of what really happens
when thousands of kids drink way too much. And all the while, we
parents are blind. Maybe that’s because we’re busy sipping
wine as we bid at fund-raisers, or we’re knocking back a few tall
cold ones at our alumni tailgate parties, or maybe we’re out to a
two-martini dinner with intimate friends while our successful kids are
tucked away on campuses where fun can’t be categorized as
dangerous. Or progressive. Or addictive.
Toren p. 132-133 –Party
My Face Off
Were all these classy visits to other campuses rehearsals for my
behavioral outbursts during my college freshman year? Hell no. I was
just getting my green feet wet and still learning the ropes. There was
no problem. I was still in high school. Relax. (And don’t think,
Gee, man, it sure is surprising that no one ever pulled you aside and
said, ‘You know, I think some of these things are pretty scary.
Maybe you have a problem and should think about getting help.’)
No, it’s not surprising that never happened, because most of
these things went under the radar of any counselor, authority, and more
important, the parents. You think I went home, and when asked,
“Hey, Toren, how was your night last night?,” that I
responded, “Oh, it was great. I drank a forty in under five
minutes, we made a double-funnel beer bong, we outran the cops, and
later, I blacked out and woke up in a strange bathroom with my pants on
inside out. How was yours?” Never. There was always a normal
activity or at least a smoothed-over version of what we were up to, the
imaginary side of the coin of my perfect teenager life. There was no
friend of mine who would suggest to another that anyone had a problem,
because it was all too early and too fun. What could possibly go wrong
in our worlds?
Chris
p. 246- What Parents Can Do
Within our family, we now have the courage to talk about high-risk
drinking. It’s easily discussed because the disease is with us.
Drinking is now considered as dangerous as a bad sunburn—a
weekend souvenir that begins as a haunting cancer and can progress to
death.
Toren p. 168—In Descent
I imagined myself sliding on my knees across the hard floor into the
middle of the circle with my fists clenched in the air, screaming for
some sort of relief…but of course I stayed at the edge of the
circle, adamant that no one would know about the war being waged inside
me. I remember looking at a couple of the people as they stood in the
circle and desperately thinking, Maybe they are having problems, too,
like me. But then, I thought, These people have no clue what it is like
to experience the difficulties that I have.
Chris
p. 278- Warning Label
It has been said that “Alcohol is so potent that, if discovered
today, it would be classified as a Class II drug, available only by
prescription.” [Wright & Wright] Adults who willingly provide
minors with alcohol often think they are doing them a favor, especially
when it occurs within the confines of a private home. But in fact,
providing young people with alcohol can contribute to violence, driving
under the influence, sexual assault, and binge drinking. By allowing
underage drinking, parents are sending the message that it’s okay
to drink. Parents may not be able to control actions of intoxicated
youth once they have left a party, or even within the confines of the
home. Car crashes and injuries following parent-hosted parties are a
huge risk, and parents can be held liable for these incidents. Recent
information about the susceptibility of adolescents to severe damage
from heavy drinking causes me to stop and reconsider attitudes about
serving alcohol to underage kids. Collecting car keys and allowing
minors to party in the basement may be more detrimental than most
parents realize, even without considering destruction caused to the
adolescent brain. Which of we parents wishes to be responsible not only
for destroying cells in our children’s still-forming intellects
but for the crashes, sexual incidents, and violence brought on by
underage abuse of alcohol?
Toren p.173- Progression Without Progress
When I came to again I was shivering and lying face down on the hard
bus terminal floor near a wall. I was still in Asunción and it
was early the next morning. A security guard was inspecting me as if I
were crazy. He must have noticed me passed out. Hungover, dirty and
ragged, I’m sure I looked like a total street bum. The plastic
bottle, now empty, had fallen out of my pocket. I didn’t know how
long I had been there. I still had my ticket but had missed my bus.
Chris p. 338 – Moving On to Gravy
Of all the points to consider about heavy teen drinking, I am most
struck by the fact that oftentimes young drinkers and their parents
don’t realize they are in trouble until too late. It can be after
college graduation that symptoms become pronounced, just at the time
when an emerging adult begins to seek out lifelong goals. Abusive
alcohol consumption is associated with alcohol-related problems after
graduation which can permanently affect achievement of a young
person’s dreams and aspirations. As with Toren and our family,
the results of this continual abuse will finally stack up until it
falls with crushing force onto our heads.
Toren p. 348- Could You Spare
Me Some Change, Please?
Some friends have said things along the lines of, “I think
it’s cool what you’re doing…but I could never go
that route…I could never go straight-edge, completely
sober.” I used to think that exact way, too. It really comes down
to the fact that this is the only direction I can go if I want to have
a seminormal, productive life. And for now, that sounds like something
I should want, right? I don’t want to be enslaved to toxins that
disconnect me further from living. That’s where I was when I was
last drinking. So I can mirror similar sentiments to those friends of
mine respectively: “I think it’s cool that you still drink
and use drugs…but I can’t go down that road…it
would destroy me.”
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